TRENCH CLUBS!

As used by Woody Harrelson.

You never knew you wanted one of these until just now, huh?
Seeing this probably also brought back to mind that famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote:

"I have found that a stout head-knocker is an invaluable accessory for any excursion you may fancy. Slung casually from the wrist, it melts problems away in carefree swings."

I think it was her anyway.

One can get up to speed vis-a-vis my own take on these artifacts here.

First up: A kind-of-generic, inaccurate rip-off of the clubs produced by the Royal Engineer's Workshops during the Great War, like the one Woody used (See link above).

It was turned from hickory and weighted with lead. The wrapping of GI (Galvanized Iron) keeps it from splitting and the head is further graced with a sprinkling of upholstery tacks.

This next was made from English walnut burl that's been ebonized with vinegaroon (which name I am not making up).

Eighteen horseshoe nails comprise the sparkly bits.

lead weighted as well with a grip of wrapped leather.

And last but not least, the most inauthentic of all (but it'll kick your ass if you say so).

The handle is pacific yew. Of course, in a European setting it could have been made of English yew so...  

This one has a bit of a story.

Several years ago, a good and faithful customer (A teacher of history) commissioned two clubs from me.

I had decided that one of the two would to be a grenade-headed club so I cast about for the grenade that looked like it would be easiest to cast 'cause... I'm a lazy man.

The winner was the French Citron Foug of 1915, a grenade with a simple pattern so, with no actual precedent of a citron foug shell being weaponized as a club-head.

I did it anyway and committed the ultimate, FARB sin of saying: "It could have been."

Fuck it, says I.

It was 'cause...

Although this one to the left looks the part, it blows its cover on one big issue.

It's dated. 1917.

These are the most widely faked item of militaria on the market now and one of the big giveaways re authenticity is a date. The other a unit affiliation.

Well, with all those sharks in the water, aren't you glad that I'm here to offer guaranteed, fake trench clubs

Nod and grin. Back away and don't make eye contact.

$50 apiece with $10 extra for the last - casting you know; plus $7.50 shipping.
When one of these go away. I'll make one to take its place.

To order e-mail me.