Friday, October 30, 2009

Lions And Tigers And Bears, Oh My

I've been really trying not to blow shit at this guy.
Seriously. His life isn't any worse than anyone else's but you wouldn't know it to hear him.
However, the lad's shit is pretty ragged at this juncture.
His pickup, purchased less than a year ago (I think), has gone seriously tits-up.
The lad's grounded, angry, at loose ends... Thank God he doesn't have access to firearms!
Oh, wait.
Fear not, he's found another focus for his clear-eyed intensity (read: A problem that follows his favorite theorem: "Whatever problem that cannot be solved with a gun is... is... IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!").
His focus is again upon that great menace, Lex Luthor to his Superman, his evil nemesis, the coyote!
I've explored his pathological relationship with these vital parts of the eco-system before.
Him and those indigenous canines just don't hit it off.
What's his problem with them?
Does he run sheep - I mean - other than his readers?
Really, this emotional screed (Quote from the Whored Nation: "Liberals are the party of emotion and Conservatives are the party of intelleck" {italics, mine - moronic misspelling, theirs}) is seriously impassioned don't you know.
You might also say, "Crazy", "Out There", "Nuts" or get the fuck out of the house, George.
Anyhoo, a lazy (ie can't/won't walk/bike anywhere - he's bummed, Yo) immobilized "force of nature" trolling for outrage can do no better than this:

Coyote Attack, Young Woman Dead:
This goes out to all those that hate Coyote Hunters – A beautiful and talented young woman was hiking in a National Park in Canada. Two coyotes attacked her and killed her. This tells me 3 things. First, I need to kill every coyote I see. Because of this, I'm going to increase my active coyote hunting and not miss an opportunity to do more of it. Coyotes need to fear Humans. Even around here, coyotes are becoming quite bold. I'll sort that out starting as soon as my truck is fixed. Second, we need to be able to carry arms in National Parks and Forests. A lot of people want that banned. Those people are idiots. It's real simple... when you leave your house, you should have a weapon on you. This poor musician girl didn't. She went outdoors, unarmed... she was food to the coyotes, not a threat. It is sad and unfortunate... and our hearts go out to her family and loved ones... I only pray that her death serves as a warning and a reminder that weapons keep us Free and Safe. Third, Canadians need to carry arms just as anyone else does. Just because you live above a certain parallel doesn't mean you are safe from attack from wild animals or other predators. I don't think these coyotes cared that she was Canadian. Yet several Canadians I've met, had the attitude that they would never need something like a handgun – because they were Canadian. The fact is, if this woman had a pistol, a small 9mm such as an M&P Compact... she would still be alive and perhaps even uninjured.

Whoa, that's a lot to digest.
Just a brief aside, one of the earmarks of a serotonin-based mental illness is a disproportionate emotional response - like the one illustrated above.
Coyote hunters, those unsung heroes of American freedom.
And here I thought they were just yahoos out for a bounty - oh wait, that's George.
Okay, let's have a reality break for the Bozo-cons:
First off, you may have noticed, that the "rancher"/coyote "dynamic" has been around for a bit.
They ain't kilt all them varmints over the past few hundred years.
I think the coyotes will be okay.
Where they're hunted aggressively, average litter size increases so you can keep your little psycho crusade going indefinitely, Bud.
Good for you.
Another humorous sidebar, The Killer's Youtube account is frozen because some of us liberal fucktards don't like his "Good 'ole Boyz Killin' the Little Animals" vids.
One guy in France sent him a death threat - in a youtube video comment!
Scary stuff!
Not to fear, Mr. Self-Reliant - wait for it - contacted Interpol.
That's how Dan'l Boone would'a handled it.
Oh, God.
Anyway, so now he's all about putting the fear of humans back into these resilient animals that will ultimately end up crushing his bones in their powerful canine jaws to get at all that luscious sedentary, "My ass drives everywhere" marrow.
Luckily, coyotes can't read or they'd die laughing at this.

Anyway, I've been sitting on this one for a few days now and, even though Carlos speaks from beyond the grave "Therein lies madness", I CAN NO LONGER REMAIN SILENT.
Sorry, just setting the Bozo-con mood.
I think my favorite is this nugget:
"Those people are idiots. It's real simple... when you leave your house, you should have a weapon on you. This poor musician girl didn't. She went outdoors, unarmed... she was food to the coyotes..."
I think this was written by a very frightened man.
It's sad. How much more energy would he have if he could just get the idea out of his head that the entire world is out to kill him or his family or his friends or cute French Canadian girls (Would he have cared if the evil dogs had eaten some homeless guy in Newark instead? I think not).
Oh, and I do so love to be called an idiot... by an idiot.

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